There is a meditation book that I read daily. Today it talked about friends and the difference between having a friend and being a friend. At least that’s what I got from it. I have friends, you know, those people who will do things for and with me, I also AM a friend. Even when I sometimes don’t like what my friend does. Even when it means saying no or disagreeing. That is true when they say no to or disagree with me.
This made me think, learning to be a friend takes time. It means being quiet and listening. I learned simply by asking “how are you?”. The hard part is taking the time to listen. I know there was a time when all I could do was talk, dump, and ask for things. Eventually I had to learn to give and to listen.
At some point it became easier to listen than to talk, which is not always a good thing, it means I keep a lot to myself. Not for fear of burdening anyone with my troubles, at least not consciously, I feel like it’s more because I spend a lot of time alone so when I do connect with friends I don’t feel like talking about me.
This is all conjecture and opinion. I just know that although I have a lot of friends I like to BE a friend too, and that requires more work. Just something to think about. The difference between having friends and being a friend.