After working in a busy laboratory for over 15 years there are some things that I have learned. Today I’d like to talk about the caffeine zombies.
A caffeine zombie is that patient that goes to the lab really early for their fasting blood draw without having had their morning coffee. They have this glazed look in their eyes and answering simple questions like”what is your birthday?” require a lot of thought.
Some of them have the coffee with them, just waiting for that moment they can sip. Some say it’s out in the car. The really tough ones are on their way home or to a coffee shop. One thing they have in common is they all perk up when I say they’re done and can have coffee now.
After some fumbling with a coat sleeve or gathering up their belongings I send them on their way. At these moments I am always grateful I am not on the road driving anywhere at this time of day. It seems the road would be dangerous with all these people who can’t even tell me their birthday driving around.